Bright Colors and Catchy Phrases

idk why it gives me comfort.

drowning out any assumptions

with bright colors and catchy phrases

now you see that perhaps

maybe it’s because you can never tell what’s on the inside

constant cycle

i don’t know how i got here

i can’t even pick an outfit, style my hair, or order a meal

without thinking about your approval

your passive aggressive remarks

a simple dagger to my chest

making me question every step, every word, every sentence.

what would you do?

what would you think?

for once i want to question: what do I think? what do i want?

with my answer not being clouded by your constant remarks

but how i can blame you for my own codependency?

i hate the reality i live in

a reality where who i love is wrong

who i am is deviant

and what i look like is a threat

i hate our world

but i have no other choice but to live everyday portraying to be something i’m not

hoping to make my life somewhat acceptable