my dreams
her face
her skin,
her eyes
terrorized
shivering once,
i remind myself
I’m not supposed to wish, that anymore.
a future
not mine.
my dreams
her face
her skin,
her eyes
terrorized
shivering once,
i remind myself
I’m not supposed to wish, that anymore.
a future
not mine.
silently hum of the
click of the
tickle of my
thick in my
regret

i don’t know how i got here
i can’t even pick an outfit, style my hair, or order a meal
without thinking about your approval
your passive aggressive remarks
a simple dagger to my chest
making me question every step, every word, every sentence.
what would you do?
what would you think?
for once i want to question: what do I think? what do i want?
with my answer not being clouded by your constant remarks
but how i can blame you for my own codependency?